a completely inaccurate 5e character generator. yes, technically you could play some of these, but why would you want to?

(tons of copyrighted IP in here that ain't mine, parody, fair use probably, yaddada)

the character wants are created by a separate generator, found here.

i created this generator for the prismatic corpse jam.


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the Bug Person Literal Cop (Paladin)
( he / him / his )

wields a gnarled oak staff
is rude and vegan
loves violence and cool swords
hates needing help; fears snakes
wants to avenge his grandparent


Irene the Mermaid MMA Bro
( she / her / her )

wields a ... nope, only these fists of steel
is cheerful and prone to stealing
loves books and cats
hates hot weather; fears bees
wants to return to her twin

tommy the literal, actual kangaroo
( he / him / his )

wields a ... nope, only these fists of steel
is cheerful and an actual real live talking animal
loves beer and the beach
hates boredom; fears spiders
wants to capture his childhood caregiver


scorch the Bug Person Ripped-ass Preacher With a Big Hammer
( he / him / his )

wields a big fucking hammer (two-handed)
is old and into nerd shit
loves books and sick skateboard tricks
hates boredom; fears combat
wants to locate a person

loves beer and beer


This is gonna help me with dnd characters

This is great!


This is awesome. Any chance of getting this as an android app so I can pull it up next time I roll a character?


maybe some day in the far future when i figure out how to code anything other than twine, absolutely. thanks!


Amazing. When one of my characters die I'll use this for the next one :^]